


Balance in Imbalance

by infiniteeight



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, I don't think the fic is as clinical as this sounds but I tag things just in case, M/M, discussions of sexual health, lots of checking in during the sex actually written out, non-specific references to past consensual but painful sex, references to medication assisted sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 10:41:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15661572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteeight/pseuds/infiniteeight
Summary: (I wrote this awhile after Rogue Nation, at least a year before Fallout, and apparently never posted it. Oops?)Thanks to an unusual hormone balance, Brandt's heats have never been anything other than rushed and unpleasant, no matter strategies what he and his partner at the time tried. Getting through them alone isn't much better. But it's possible for alphas to have odd hormone balances, too. Brandt is afraid this won't work, but not too much to try.





	Balance in Imbalance

Brandt woke up with the distinctive lower pelvic ache that meant his heat would be coming on in a day or two. He sighed deeply and hit the snooze button, giving himself a self-indulgent extra five minutes to lay in bed and dread the next few days.

When his alarm went off again, Brandt forced himself to get out of bed and get ready for the day. Once he was otherwise ready to head out the door to work, he took a few minutes to check his supplies for the upcoming heat. He’d need to stop at the store to buy some frozen meals since he wasn’t going to be focused enough to trust himself around the stove, but at least his knotting dildo was still in good condition and he had nine hormone injections on hand, which ought to be enough to get him through.

Despite all that, the first thing he did when he arrived at IMF HQ was head down to medical. The IMF hadn’t always had their own medical division, but eventually their position on the bleeding edge of espionage meant that they were running into too many similarly bleeding edge toxins and weapons to trust an endless rotation of ER doctors to be able to think creatively enough or an ordinary family doctor to understand long term consequences. IMF medical handled regular physicals, local emergencies, and long distance consults on agents in the field encountering weird shit. Anything beyond that went to ordinary hospitals.

Happily, that meant that Brandt’s doctor was on site, had a high security clearance, and knew his history in detail. Filling in new medical professionals was always an uncomfortable, frustrating experience. When he ducked into medical, he grabbed a nurse who didn’t look busy. “Nurse. Is Dr. Genner in?”

“She’s doing a physical at the moment,” the nurse said. “If you wait in her office, I’ll let her know you’re here.”

“Thanks. No rush,” Brandt said. There was no reason to interrupt an agent’s physical.

He only had to wait five minutes before Dr. Genner arrived. Brandt gave her a tired smile as she seated herself. “Hey, doc. It’s that time again.”

She gave him a sympathetic look. “Your heat is coming up?” He nodded and she reached into her desk, withdrawing the familiar form that approved heat leave. “Do you have someone you’re planning on spending it with?”

“Not this time. I’ve got nine shots; that’s enough, right?”

“Yes…” Dr. Genner said, but the word trailed off suggestively, so Brandt waited. She finished filling out the form and slid it across her desk to him for his signature before leaning back in her chair and watching him for a long moment. He signed the form and slid it back to her for filing before raising an inquiring eyebrow. Still, she hesitated for a moment before speaking. “There’s an alpha currently with the IMF that I think might make a good heat partner for you.”

Well, that explained the hesitation: the only way she could know that would be because she was privy to that alpha’s medical information. Technically, even mentioning it to Brandt could be considered a violation of privacy. And if she was mentioning it to him, there was a good chance she’d already said something similar to the alpha in question. Brandt _could_ be furious with her… but Genner was a good doctor, and she knew how difficult his heats were. She wouldn’t overstep like this unless she really believed it would help him. Still… “Is this alpha okay with you sharing his personal details?” Brandt asked.

“Yes,” Genner said, and Brandt felt his jaw tighten, because that confirmed that she had already shared some of his own information. “All I told him,” she went on quickly, “was that there was an omega that I thought could use his help. I didn’t say how or why. I asked if he was comfortable with me sharing some of his medical information, because the omega would need to be aware of the circumstances if they were going to decide if they even wanted to know who he is.”

“And he said yes.” Genner nodded. It was at least worth hearing the how, Brandt decided. “Okay, then. What makes you think we’d do well together?”

“He has a dramatically lowered sensitivity to ignicine,” the doctor explained. “I’m hopeful that his low sensitivity would counterbalance your overproduction and lead to a near-normal heat cycle.”

‘Hopeful’ was a lot to hang a heat on, especially considering how Brandt’s heats could go. Ignicine was the hormone that triggered an alpha’s rut and the corresponding ability to form a knot, but it didn’t have any impact at all on the omega’s own level of arousal. Normally, that wasn’t a problem; in typical omegas, ignicine production ramped up in parallel with the omega’s arousal. Omegas who overproduced it, on the other hand... well, it sounded harmless until you realized that it meant any alpha Brandt tried to spent a heat with was frantic with lust and ready to knot before Brandt was more than mildly turned on. 

At that point, Brandt had two choices. He could take the knot before he was anywhere near ready, which was painful as hell and inevitably made his partner feel guilty as shit afterward. Or he could ask his partner to wait as long as they could manage, which was painful as hell for _them_ and carried the bonus risk that they’d accidentally have their orgasm and lose their knot while Brandt was trying to catch up. When that happened, he had to use the knotting dildo and hormone injector just like if he was alone, which was humiliating for both of them and _also_ made his partner feel like shit.

Sometimes, Brandt’s life felt like an endless ricochet between the pain of sharing a heat and the empty, unsatisfying, clinical process of getting through it alone with dildo and injector. He’d stick with one until he forgot how much he hated the other, and then switch and start the process from the other side. He’d long since given up on the idea that he’d ever enjoy a heat.

The hope that Genner was holding out was almost cruel. But she knew that. He had to believe that she wouldn’t have suggested it if there wasn’t a really strong chance that this would work.

“How lowered?” Brandt asked, but shook his head before she could say anything. “Nevermind, that’s not your information to share. Besides which, any lowered sensitivity at all could only help.” Except that an alpha who wasn’t used to feeling the rut urge might not be able to control it as well. Brandt wavered, but he knew he had to try. “He’s not a junior agent, is he?” He asked instead. “No matter how good it looks, I can’t go to bed with a junior, not even just for a heat, not even if he’s not directly in my chain of command.”

“He’s not junior at all,” Genner assured him.

Brandt gave her a sharp look, and she tried to suppress a wince. Given Brandt’s position at the IMF, there weren’t many personnel who counted as ‘not junior at all’, and he was in a position to know that most of them were either bonded or had perfectly normal heats. In fact, there was a damn good chance that she was talking about-- Brandt cut that thought off. “So what happens if I say I’m interested?”

“In the interest of equality of disclosure,” Genner said carefully, “I’ll tell you both who the other is, regardless of whether or not you decide to share a heat once you know. If you’re not comfortable with that, then we should stop this here.”

“No, that makes sense.” Brandt took a deep breath. “I’m interested. Who is it?”

Genner waited a moment before answering, maybe checking to make sure he wasn’t going to change his mind. “It’s Secretary Hunley,” she said eventually. Brandt let out a slow breath of relief and she offered him a tentative smile. “It take it that’s a good thing?”

“Yeah,” Brandt admitted. “There were at least two alphas I could think of that I would have said no to even trying with, but he’s not one of them.”

“And now I need to call him,” Genner said, picking up the phone. Brandt nodded, though she wasn’t asking for his permission. His stomach tightened nervously as she punched in the internal extension. There was still the chance that Hunley would say no. “Dr. Genner for the Secretary,” she said to, presumably, the Secretary’s assistant. She paused a moment. “Regarding a private matter which he and I discussed at his last physical.” Brandt suppressed a sudden desire to fidget. Fortunately, the Secretary must not have been busy, because they were transferred almost immediately. “Sir,” Dr. Genner said when he came on the line. “You recall I told you there was an omega who could use your help with his heats?” She paused. “Yes, he is.” She paused again. “It’s Agent Brandt, sir.” Another pause. “Of course, sir,” He must have asked to be put on speaker, because Dr. Genner pressed a button on the phone’s base and set the handset down, nodding at Brandt.

“Mr. Secretary,” Brandt said, his mouth going a bit dry with nerves.

“If you’re still interested in trying this,” the Secretary said, “I think you should call me Alan.” He sounded a bit uncertain, too, which somehow made Brandt relax.

“Alan,” he acknowledged. “I am still interested. In trying, I mean. I--” Brandt broke off and glanced at the doctor. “No offense, doctor, and I appreciate you getting us this far, but I think I’d actually like to have the rest of this conversation in private. And in person,” he told the phone. Dr. Genner might know all the painful details, but there was a difference between how he wanted to talk to his prospective heat partner about this and how he talked to his doctor about it.

“Of course,” the Secretary--Alan--and the doctor said together.

It took less than five minutes for Brandt to get from medical to Hunley’s office. When he arrived, the glass walls were already on the privacy setting, showing only opaque white to the rest of the IMF. Hunley’s assistant nodded professionally at Brandt as he stepped into the outer office. “Go right in,” the young man said, although the door just past him was closed. “The Secretary is ready for you.”

“Thanks.” Brandt opened the door and stepped into Hunley’s office. “Sir,” he said, closing the door behind himself. Hunley raised his eyebrows, and Brandt corrected to, “Sorry. Alan. Force of habit.”

“Understandable,” Hunley said. “I just want to make sure that it’s clear that my position as your boss has no influence on how this goes. If it goes. As far as that’s possible, anyway.” 

“Of course,” Brandt said, sitting down across from Hunley. He’d been worried about going to bed with a subordinate himself; of course the Secretary felt the same way. Brandt made himself smile and try to be less formal. “You’d think, as many times as I’ve had this conversation, that it wouldn’t throw me off balance anymore, but it does.”

Hunley leaned forward, brow wrinkling. “I take it you’ve had some unsuccessful attempts at finding a heat partner? Dr. Genner didn’t go into any detail.”

“Yeah.” Brandt sighed. “A lot of unsuccessful attempts. Some with people I’d been dating, some with whom I’d been hoping for a good casual arrangement, all of them a mess in the end. The short version is, I overproduce ignicine, which means that my partner is ready to knot long before I’m ready to take a knot. Sometimes by hours. Whether I rush into it or they force themselves to wait, one of us ends up in a lot of pain and the other ends up feeling unsatisfied and inadequate. And that’s when it goes reasonably well.”

Hunley grimaced sympathetically. “I imagine you’ve tried having the alpha wait in another room until you’re ready.”

“Another room isn’t enough,” Brandt said wryly. “They have to wait outside the house altogether. And yes, I have. It works great for the first round, but I generally need between six and eight knots before my heat breaks. After the first, it’s the same problem all over again, except that I can’t send an alpha in rut outside to wait.” Brand snorted a rueful laugh. “I tried that once, and he didn’t come back--he started a fight and I had to bail him out of jail after I’d managed the rest of the heat with injections.” 

“If your production is so high an alpha can smell it a room away, I can see why Dr. Genner though I might be a good match,” Hunley said. He paused, searching for words, and Brandt waited patiently. After a moment Hunley tapped sharply, decisively on the desk and Brandt realized that he hadn’t been finding his words, he’d been finding the courage to say what came next. “You should make sure to have injections on hand even if we do try together,” he said finally, abruptly. “Because I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to knot.”

Brandt blinked, because low sensitivity was one thing, but this was a whole other level. “Is that often a problem?” he asked carefully.

It was Hunley’s turn to offer him a rueful smile. “It’s almost always a problem. At the peak of heat, I can almost…” He lifted a hand, then dropped it. “I’m physically capable--injections of my own at the appropriate moment sometimes work--but my body just… misses it’s cue unless prompted artificially. And you know exactly how awkward it is to stop and reach for a syringe in the middle of sex, especially given that these injections must be intravenous, rather than intramuscular.”

Awkward was one word for it. Humiliating was a better one. Meeting Hunley’s eyes, Brandt could feel that understanding pass between them. Maybe with a long term, devoted partner interrupting sex for an injection wouldn’t turn the act into a thing of utility rather than enjoyment. Maybe with someone like that, it could still be a good thing instead of a reminder of all the ways he wasn’t enough. But Brandt had never gotten that far with anyone he’d dated. His heats turned into an obstacle that no one had ever managed to handle for long, no matter how well the relationship was going otherwise.

But Hunley understood. Even if they didn’t compensate for each other’s hormonal oddities, maybe that would be enough to make Brandt’s heats manageable, rather than awful. “I’d like to try with you,” Brandt said quietly. “If you’re still willing.”

“I am.” Hunley held his gaze, and Brandt flushed and ducked his head. “Will.” Brandt looked up and Hunley smiled gently. “Do you want me with you in the early stages, or would you rather I waited until you’re ready, at least the first time?”

“With me,” Brandt said immediately. “No insult intended, Alan, but I don’t know how you’re going to react to getting a nose full of the scent I’ll be putting out when I’m ready. I’d rather have you there as I ramp up so I can get an idea of how it’s going to hit you.”

Hunley’s gaze darkened for a moment, suggesting that maybe he’d read between the lines and guessed at the time that an alpha hadn’t been able--or maybe just hadn’t been willing--to wait. Brandt had put that alpha in the hospital. But all Hunley said was, “From the beginning then. You’ll let me know when that is?”

Brandt nodded. “Probably tomorrow morning or early afternoon. I’ve already put in for heat leave; I’ll take the rest of the day to organize my work for me to be out a couple of days.”

“I should do the same,” Hunley said. “Tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow,” Brandt confirmed.

Despite his determination to get as much of his work taken care of as he could, Brandt found that, having agreed to share a heat with Hunley, he couldn’t stop thinking about what it might be like. Part of the swing from preferring the injections to preferring a partner and back again was that, when he was on the injection side of the emotional line, any thought of relationships tended to be inextricably linked with the memory of those awful heats. Which meant that he tried not to think about relationships at all. Which meant that it hadn’t even occurred to him that Hunley was a single, unbonded alpha, and therefore a potential mate.

Of course, this wasn’t about mating. Just a heat. But still… Hunley. Who was, now that Brandt thought about it, both taller and broader than Brandt in a way that could, maybe, be pleasantly sheltering. Who had, alone out of all the alphas Brandt had attempted a heat with, acknowledged that it might not work and encouraged Brandt to have a backup plan. Who had asked how Brandt wanted to handle the heat, instead of assuming that he knew the best way.

God, Brandt _wanted_ to hope, but it hurt to try.

He wasn’t even sure what to hope for. Sex was enjoyable enough outside of his heats, but healthy, normal heat sex wasn’t supposed to be like regular sex. Was the frantic need he’d read about real, or hyperbole? Did it feel good to be so needy? Brandt tried to imagine being that desperate to have anyone touch him and just… couldn’t. 

By the time he gave up on settling work for the next day or two, Brandt had gone straight through hope and confusion and fear and ended up right back where he started: at resignation. It would work, or it wouldn’t, and there wasn’t anything either one of them could do to change that.

*

Deciding at what point in his heat to call in the alpha was always a balancing act for Brandt. If they were too sensitive, calling them in early meant that he got rushed into knotting even faster than normal. But if he waited too long, they didn’t have time to get used to the strength of the scent he put out, and their self control suffered.

Given that Hunley was supposed to be very low sensitivity, Brandt decided to call him early. So when Brandt woke up and found himself just starting to get slick, he showered, had breakfast, and called Hunley’s personal line.

“Alan Hunley,” the Secretary answered, brisk and professional for all that this was a private number. Brandt smiled to himself.

“Alan. It’s Will.”

Alan’s voice softened immediately. “It take it it’s time?” He sounded careful, rather than eager, which was a nice change.

“Yeah,” Will sighed. “Early hours yet, so you don’t need to break any traffic laws getting here.”

“We live in the same neighbourhood,” Alan sounded amused now. “I’ll be there shortly regardless.”

“Thanks.” They said brief goodbyes, and then there was nothing for Will to do but wait. 

True to Alan’s word, it was only about fifteen minutes before there was a knock at his townhouse door. Taking a deep breath, Will braced himself before he opened it. He didn’t _think_ Alan would jump him, not this early on, but experience had taught Will to be prepared.

Opening the door revealed Alan standing on the step. He was wearing jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt, and a brown leather jacket, and there was an overnight bag slung over one shoulder. He smiled at Will, and his nostrils didn’t even flare. It was like he couldn’t smell Will at all. After a moment his smile dimmed. “Will? Is everything okay?”

Will shook himself and stepped back from the doorway. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Come on in.”

Alan brushed past Will on his way into the townhouse and didn’t even pause. His hands didn’t wander. He did give Will an extra glance over his shoulder as he moved deeper into the house, but it wasn’t a lusty glance. He just seemed to be checking in. “Where do you want me?” he asked as Will shut the front door.

“Your bag can go into the master bedroom,” Will said, “it’s that door right ahead of you.” And while he was doing that, Will could figure out what came next. He ended up standing in the middle of his living/dining area, rubbing the back of his neck and laughing at himself.

“Will?”

Will turned to find Alan, sans jacket, standing in the bedroom doorway with his eyebrows raised. “I’m not actually sure what to do now,” Will explained sheepishly. “Normally, I have to focus on helping the alpha stay calm and under control from the moment they arrive.” Alan didn’t seem to find that either amusing or reassuring, and it abruptly occurred to Will that reminding the alpha that he was responding atypically might not be the most sensitive thing to do. Will swallowed an apology, not wanting to highlight that fact.

After a silent, slightly awkward moment, Alan stepped out of the doorway and came a few steps closer. “What would you be doing if you were alone?” he asked.

Will shrugged. “Working, honestly. I normally bring briefing packets home with me and read until I can’t focus anymore.”

“I think something more relaxing might be in order today,” Alan said dryly.

Will huffed a laugh. “I guess so. We could check out the movie options?”

With a few hesitant pauses, they settled down on the couch together and flipped through the various streaming services. After a moment, Alan began offering commentary on the options and Will found himself snickering. By the time they started up their choice, they’d relaxed enough that Will was leaning against Alan’s side. Alan shifted, carefully putting his arm around Will. It felt good being held so gently, and Will felt a small wash of warmth go through him. For a moment anxiety twinged, but Alan didn’t push any further, and Will ended settling in closer, himself.

The first hour of the movie passed quietly, but as they passed into the second half, a strange restlessness infected Will. He lost track of the plot, distracted by a recurring need to move, to do something. Eventually Alan picked up the remote and paused the movie. “I don’t know what’s wrong,” Will said before he could ask. “I don’t normally get twitchy like this when I’m alone.”

Alan moved his arm and they turned so that they were facing each other on the couch. “I think--” he paused and changed direction. “I’d like to try kissing you, if you don’t mind.”

“All right,” Will said. His heartbeat picked up as Alan leaned in, but it wasn’t anxiety this time, it was-- it was-- Their lips met and fuck, it felt _good_. Will kissed back eagerly, heart rate surging again when Alan pulled him in and kissed him deeper, and Will realized it was rising need making him restless, it was arousal making his heart pound like that. 

With a series of gentle nudges Alan soon had them stretched out on the couch, but instead of bearing Will down into the cushions, he put himself on the bottom, laying on his back with Will sprawled over his chest. An alpha had never done that with Will before, and as he sank into kiss after kiss, Will couldn’t imagine why. It was good feeling Alan’s solidity beneath him and the steadying bracket of his arms. It made Will feel safe enough to let go and enjoy the kisses and the slowly rising heat in his body. Alan’s hands started to wander, stroking Will’s back and wandering down to cup the curve of his ass. Will shifted his hips, encouraging the touch, and suddenly realized through the haze of kisses that Alan was hard. They both were. Will froze.

Alan immediately broke the kiss. “Will?” His voice was rough, but not upset and not urgent. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Will tucked his nose into the crook of Alan’s neck without thinking. “I keep expecting you to speed things up,” he admitted. 

“We’re going at your pace here,” Alan promised, his hand moving from Will’s ass to stroke his back gently, instead. “Whatever you need.” After a moment, he went on. “I brought my own injections. Just in case.”

The reminder that Alan normally couldn’t keep up first reassured Will, and then inspired a surge of guilt for feeling reassured. He leaned up so that he could look Alan in the eye. “Is it terrible that the idea you might have trouble makes me feel better?”

Surprisingly, that made Alan smile warmly. “Anything that makes you more comfortable is good,” he said. “As far as I’m concerned, that’s the alpha’s job.” His smile dimmed a little. “Normally, being the way I am means I can’t do that. Not without help, and sometimes not even then.”

“Well.” Will leaned down and kissed Alan again. Alan kissed back, and Will’s faltering arousal steadied. He relaxed the tense line of his hips and thighs, letting his hard cock nudge Alan’s again. Will broke the kiss and spoke with his lips brushing Alan’s, “You are doing your job perfectly for me.”

Alan groaned softly and leaned up, capturing Will’s mouth again. This time when Alan’s hand moved to Will’s ass, he pushed into the touch. Alan responded by tightening his grip and pulling their hips together. Will caught his breath at the sudden surge of pleasure that sparked. His cock throbbed, and a low ache built inside. He ignored it for awhile, more interested in the hot, slick caress of Alan’s mouth and the solid comfort of having someone steady beneath him.

But ignoring that needy ache didn’t make it go away. No alpha had ever waited this long for Will, but he’d spent enough heats alone to know that only the hormonal rush of knotting--or the injection that faked it--would banish the feeling. Still, he could at least get more comfortable.

Leaning up, Will waited a moment for Alan to focus on him, if he could. 

He could, and did. Will ventured a smile. “I’m not ready yet,” he said carefully, “but maybe we should move the the bedroom?”

“All right,” Alan said easily. He took his arms from around Will, letting him climb off of both Alan and the couch. They stood, and after a moment Will took Alan’s hand and led him across the apartment and into his bedroom. 

They stopped at the end of the bed and for an awkward moment neither of them moved. Alan, Will realized, wasn’t going to move. Not until Will did. Ducking his head, Will started to undo the buttons on his shirt, but a flicker of movement in his peripheral vision made him pause. He looked up to see Alan had raised his hand. “May I?” Alan asked.

God, he wasn’t this awkward outside of heats. “Of course,” Will said, dropping his hands. They undressed each other after that, and as their clothes came off Alan’s scent strengthened. Will had hardly been able to smell him at all before. Honestly, he’d been fine with that. But Alan’s scent wasn’t anything like the sharp, urgent aroma that had become his signal to grit his teeth and brace himself. It was more earthy than spicy, and it quickly became a quiet, steady reminder that Alan wasn’t like the other alphas Will had been with.

When they were naked Alan climbed onto the bed first, taking a moment to turn down the covers. Will quickly followed, eager to return to the halo of scent surrounding Alan. In time, it would saturate the room, but they weren’t there yet. For now, Will plastered himself against Alan and took a savoring breath. “You smell amazing,” he murmured, leaning in for a kiss.

But Alan pulled back. Not dodging the kiss, just giving himself a second to say, “You like it?”

Will blinked. “Other omegas don’t?”

“It’s not that they dislike it, exactly,” Alan said. They were lying on their sides, and Alan absently put an arm around Will and started rubbing at the small of his back like he knew it ached there. “But I’ve been told my scent is… boring. Uninspiring.”

Will suppressed a wince at the thought of those phrases being applied to _any_ aspect of sex, especially considering Alan’s difficulty with knotting. “Well,” he said, leaning in for the kiss he hadn’t gotten earlier. Alan obliged him this time, the caress as slow as before but tinged with heat from the press of skin against skin and the growing scent of Alan in the air. When they parted, it took Will a moment to catch his breath and pick up his train of thought. “I like your scent very much.”

Alan flushed with pleasure and his scent strengthened, but he didn’t say anything, just went back to kissing Will and rutting their groins carefully together. 

The ache in Will’s ass deepened and he felt a moment of disappointment when he felt slick leaking out between his cheeks. The kissing was so _good_ , but there was no helping it: he was going to need a knot soon. He pulled back from the kiss, and Alan spoke before Will could. “Would you like it,” the alpha said, flushed pink with heat or desire or embarrassment or maybe all three, “if I sucked you?”

An electric throb of desire went through Will. He almost never got blow jobs; getting a faceful of his pheromones was too much for a lot of alphas even outside of a heat. He wanted it. He wanted it very much. Unfortunately, a blow job wasn’t was his body needed. Will regretfully started to decline, but before the words could get out Alan shifted and Will realized that, at the moment, _Alan_ was the one who wasn’t ready. He didn’t even have the pre-knot swelling yet.

Well. Will might need a knot, but he didn’t need it quite _yet_. “Yeah,” he said, and flushed when he realized just how breathless his voice had come out. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Alan didn’t give him a chance to be embarrassed about it, he bent to his task so quickly. Will moaned when the slick heat of Alan’s mouth enveloped the head of his cock. Eyes closing involuntarily, Will lost himself in the surge of pleasure that Alan fed with every stroke of his tongue and slide of his lips over Will’s shaft. The ever-present ache of need sharpened and then somehow broadened from an irritating reminder of what Will was eventually going to require and turned into a skin tingling, nipple-tightening shiver of anticipation over his skin. “Oh God,” Will gasped. Alan’s hands were hot where they pinned his hips down, and Will’s skin felt like it was throbbing under the contact. 

More slick leaked out of him, and more, until Will could feel it dripping from his thighs and wetting the sheets. He didn’t know how Alan could stand it; he had to be swimming in pheromones. But Alan just kept sucking, throat occasionally rumbling with low, pleasured noises, as if he was enjoying this as much as Will.

Will tried to keep his hands to himself, or to hang onto the sheets instead of Alan, but the longer it went on, the better it got, the more he wanted to _touch_. One hand crept into Alan’s hair before he could stop himself. Will struggled not to urge him down, not to push, but it was so fucking good and he wanted it so much, he wanted everything, he wanted more, he wanted-- “Oh, God, please fuck me,” Will gasped. 

The shock of Alan’s mouth being replaced by cool air was only barely enough to prompt Will to gather his thoughts and look down. Alan paused. “I’m not…” he trailed off awkwardly.

After a moment, Will managed to connect the dots. “I don’t need your knot just yet,” he said, “but if you don’t fuck me now I might do something drastic.”

Alan laughed, more than a bit of relief in it, and moved up the bed to give Will a long, hot kiss. Pulling away, he murmured, “I think I can manage that.”

Will curled his legs around Alan’s hips and braced himself for the rough stretch that always came with being penetrated, whether he was with a partner or alone, but when Alan slid inside him it was smooth and easy and actually _alleviated_ the ache inside him. “Jesus Christ,” Will gasped, stunned and desperately aroused and suddenly hungry for more.

Alan froze. “Okay?”

“ _Yes,_ ” Will tightened his legs around Alan’s waist, pulling him just that fraction deeper. “Fuck, give me more.”

Alan grinned, and then he moved, and Will was done paying attention to anything but the perfect heat and fullness of Alan’s cock driving into him. It was exactly what he needed, and it didn’t hurt, not even a little. The sheer intensity of the pleasure was overwhelming--it swamped him, and it might have been frightening if he hadn’t had Alan’s steady, calm scent in his nose and his solid form to hang onto.

Will came out of the haze of pleasure a little when he realized that Alan’s rhythm was growing ragged. “Alan?” Will curled a hand around the nape of the alpha’s neck, realizing only at the last minute that he might not like that. 

But Alan didn’t flinch or object, just leaned in and kissed Will long and hard. “When you’re ready,” he said against Will’s mouth, voice cracking, “just say the word.”

Ready? It took Will a moment to realize that Alan meant ready for his knot--it was hot against his rim, as swollen as any alpha he’d ever had before, entirely ready to tie in defiance Alan’s usual difficulties. And despite that, Alan hadn’t even asked until Will said something. 

A rush of warmth that had nothing to do with arousal washed through Will. He huffed a laugh. “I’m ready. I didn’t mean to make you wait, it just felt so fucking good.” 

Alan laughed, too, and kissed Will again. “Tying back to front will probably be easier, at least the first time,” he said when they parted.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Will agreed, but he still groaned when Alan withdrew so that Will could turn onto his side. Alan murmured something wordless and reassuring even as he gripped Will’s hip in his hand and eased his way back inside. A moan of satisfaction, deep enough to make him tremble, escaped Will as he was filled again. “So good,” he panted when they were once more pressed together.

“You are amazing,” Alan said, one hand curling around Will’s hip as he started to thrust again. “So patient for me.”

Will laughed breathlessly, rocking back into Alan’s urgent, uneven movements. “I think that’s my line.” He groaned, feeling the hot ridge of Alan’s knot pressing against him, right on the verge of tying them. “Come on, give it to me. No more patience.”

Alan moaned, deep and guttural, fingers tightening on Will’s hip. They surged together and Will cried out in pleasure as Alan’s knot slid inside and throbbed as he came, the tie taking hold. Will’s body reacted, clamping down on Alan’s knot, and his orgasm rushed through him, the wave of endorphins so intense he felt dizzy.

It took a long time for the rush to ebb, far longer than Will was used to, but he was too damn relaxed to care. He felt like a washcloth that had been rung out, Alan’s solid body behind him the only thing stopping him from just slumping over. Alan’s breath huffed out over Will’s shoulder and his heart pounded in time with Will’s, both of them slowly coming down.

At length, Will moistened his lips and worked for a sentence. “I haven’t felt this good,” he said, unsurprised by the slow drawl of his own voice, “since a bunch of idiot terrorists tried to use morphine as a truth serum.”

Alan’s laughed rumbled through Will’s own chest, they were pressed so close. “I don’t think I’ve _ever_ felt this good,” he said, sounding just as relaxed as Will felt.

Will hummed softly and closed his eyes, enjoying the afterglow for a few minutes. As their bodies cooled, Alan shifted just enough to snag the covers and pull them up. 

“Any idea how long your knot will last?” Will asked eventually, feeling drowsy but not quite like he could sleep. 

“Not really.” Alan sighed softy. “The few times I’m managed a knot unassisted, it’s only been a minute or two before it went down.” A normal knot lasted about twenty minutes. “With the injection, sometimes it was ten minutes, sometimes thirty. I never worked out a pattern.”

Will hummed softly. “Well, if it goes long, there are a couple of tablets in the nightstand.”

“Tablets?” Alan sounded confused. 

“Yeah. I mean, they’re not secure, so you can’t log into the IMF or anything, but they’ve got internet and a couple of games on there,” Will explained.

Will felt shaking behind him and frowned, pushing up on one elbow and looking over his shoulder. All he could see was the top of Alan’s head, since he was resting it against the back of Will’s shoulder, but a second later he didn’t need to see, because Alan lost the battle for control and starting guffawing in laughter. Will relaxed and smiled, waited for the alpha to calm down before speaking again. “What’s so funny?”

“ _Tablets._ ” Alan said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “You’ve got tablet computers in your nightstand to entertain you while you’re tied.” 

“Well, yeah,” Will said, bemused. “I mean, I’ve been tied for up to forty minutes before, and afterglow doesn’t usually last _that_ long.”

“No, you’re right, it’s eminently practical,” Alan said. He paused for a moment to nudge some pillows around so that he was partly propped up and Will was leaning back against him, which let Will look back and up at him a little more comfortably. “It’s just a matter of perspective. I’ve spent more than thirty years listening to my partners wax poetic about the deep and intimate connection that comes with being tied. Then, when I find a partner I can get get a good knot with, he offers me a tablet in case I get bored.”

Will winced, chagrined. “Sorry?”

“No, no,” Alan said, slinging an arm around him and patting his chest reassuringly. “It’s fine. All that poetic waxing came with an undertone of pity and disappointment, you know. I’m just as happy to have a partner who knows a tie for what it is--a biological function that can be good, bad, or boring, depending.”

“All right, then,” Will said. They lay together quietly for a minute. Will couldn’t help the way his lips twitched when he spoke again. “So, you want that tablet?”

Alan laughed. “Sure, hand it over.”

Will leaned over to the nightstand, tugging at the tie just a bit, and retrieved one of the tablets from the drawer. He leaned back against Alan and held it up. 

Alan accepted the device with the hand that was slung over Will and hooked his chin over Will’s shoulder so that they were both looking at it. “So what’d you say was on here?” Alan asked, thumbing the on button and tapping his way to the home screen.

“Internet and some games,” Will said, settling in.

*

It was a total of two days and five knots before Will’s heat broke. When he woke after a full night’s sleep and realized he’d stopped leaking slick and his temperature was back to normal, he was… disappointed. Every round had been as good as the first, maybe even better, because unlike any alpha Will had had before, Alan had enough focus to pay attention to what Will liked and what he didn’t.

Even better, as far as Will was concerned, was that he got to _rest_ in between ties. Not just rest, but be taken care of. It took Alan a good four hours, minimum, before he could even start working on another knot, and he spent that time cleaning Will up, changing the sheets, getting food for them, even running a bath to help with the cramps and muscle aches that came with a heat. Will had never felt so pampered in his life. 

Alan woke about an hour after Will and absently nuzzled at his throat. For a moment, Will wondered if maybe _Alan_ wasn’t done, even if Will was. But apparently they were still in sync, because after that brief nuzzle he opened clear, calm eyes and said, “Hmm. Your scent has faded. I take it we’ve come to the end of your heat?”

“Yeah,” Will sighed, still half curled into Alan.

“Something wrong?” Alan asked, gently stroking up and down Will’s side.

“No, I just…” Will propped himself up on one elbow and smiled ruefully. “It just figures that the best heat I’ve ever had would also be the shortest.”

Alan rolled onto his back and looked up at Will. “That makes sense though, doesn’t it?”

Will raised his eyebrows. “How do you figure?”

“In your other heats, all your partners knotted long before you were ready, right?”

“Right,” Will confirmed. “Even more than I realized, actually. You kept on with the foreplay long after I would normally have told a partner I was ready, and I didn’t even realize how much _better_ that made it until you did knot.”

Alan flushed and smiled, but moved on with his point. “And during a heat you build up a lot of hormones that you need a knot to clear, right?” Will nodded. “So the way I see it, when the knot is rushed, you don’t build up much in the way hormones, which means the heat drags out, and it takes a larger number of knots to clear your system properly.”

“Huh. That does make sense,” Will said. He smiled. “I’m still a bit sad it’s over.”

Alan chuckled. “That mean you’d like to do it again sometime?”

Will tilted his head, considering. “Inside of my heat?” he asked. “Or outside it?”

“Is that something you want?” Alan asked, trailing his fingers over Will’s hip.

Will’s mouth suddenly felt dry. He licked his lips and took in Alan’s relaxed, smiling countenance, the gentle stroke of his fingers across Will’s skin, and his pleased flush. “Yeah,” Will said. “It is. Or rather, you are--both for my heats, and for the rest of the time, too. Is that something _you_ want?”

“Yes.” Alan reached up and pulled Will down into a kiss. It was different. Not because there was none of the urgency of his heat behind it--Will had had his share of sex outside his heats. No there was something else. Some other kind of awareness. Alan ended the kiss and cupped Will’s face in one hand. “Something wrong?”

“Not wrong,” Will promised. “Just different. I’m distracted trying to place it.” This time he leaned down to start the kiss, and as Alan responded, Will got it: this was the first time he’d kissed an alpha he’d already shared a heat with. His heats were usually traumatic enough that neither he nor his partner were interested in making out afterward, nevermind repeating the experience. 

Will’s smile broke the kiss, but he started another before Alan could voice a question. Yeah, there was definitely a different kind of connection there, a sense that _this_ alpha was safe and familiar and welcome. 

Neither of them got hard again, but Will wasn’t the slightest bit disappointed.

*

When Will pulled Alan into the room with him for his post-heat check up, Dr. Genner’s professionally--but not completely--masked concern transformed immediately into happiness.

“I take it it’s pretty obvious that things went well,” Will said. He hopped up on the exam bed while Alan moved to stand to the side.

“It’s night and day,” Dr. Genner said. “Normally after a heat you’re exhausted, dehydrated, and a little depressed--and that’s when it went well. Today you’re relaxed and cheerful, and I can tell just by how you’re moving that there’s no significant soreness.”

Will beamed at her. “Try no soreness at all. Well, not this morning. There was a little just after it broke.”

“We’ll do a full exam, just to be sure,” Genner said, but she motioned for Will to wait a minute when he started to unbutton his shirt. “I know this is personal, but I’d like you to give me a general summary of how things went, first.” She looked over at Alan. “For both of you. I know we’ve been focusing primarily on Agent Brandt’s heats, but your sexual health is also on the table, Mr. Secretary.”

“Of course,” Alan said, and looked over at Will, who nodded and started the narrative. It took less time than he expected to summarize, mostly because it was a lot easier to skip over large portions of his heat with the phrase “And that was really, really good” than it was to describe how something when wrong, and when, and why, and what injuries (if any) he had as a result.

Alan jumped in once or twice to fill in his part, but he didn’t seem to have much to add until they got to the end and Dr. Genner looked up at him and said, “Anything else?”

“Yeah,” Alan said slowly. He paused, and Dr. Genner waited attentively. “I thought at first it might just be… afterglow,” Alan traded a glance and a small smile with Brandt before turning his attention back to the doctor. “But I’m still feeling it.”

“Feeling what?” she asked, though from the tilt at the corner of her mouth Will got the feeling she might have a good idea already.

“Calmer,” Alan explained. “More focused. I’ve had more than one person tell me that ‘abrasive’ is a good descriptor for me, and while I don’t entirely agree, I couldn’t entirely disagree, either. I’ve always felt just a bit on edge. I figured my temper was just shorter than average, but now I’m wondering. It could just be a good mood, but it feels different to me.”

“I don’t have much history for you,” Dr Genner said. Alan was, after all, new to the IMF. “So I’m not going to make an official diagnosis, but I can make an unofficial and highly educated guess, if you’d like.”

“Guess away,” Alan encouraged.

“Alphas have a hormone balance just like omegas do,” Dr. Genner said. “It’s regulated differently, since ruts have to be triggered by an omega, but it exists. My unofficial guess is that you’d be just fine if you’d never had any sexual partners at all. But since you do have a libido, and you have attempted a normal sex life, every time you were with a partner your hormone levels ramped up, and whenever you failed to knot they didn’t get to process properly. Those hormone levels do decay naturally, but they’re not meant to break down that way. Your whole system has probably been unbalanced, to one degree or another, for most of your life. I don’t imagine that one good heat has fixed everything, but you’re a lot closer to it now than you--either of you--have been before.”

Will exchanged another smile with Alan before turning back to Dr. Genner. “It won’t be just one heat. I’m guessing that’ll help.”

Dr. Genner beamed at them. “It certainly will. I’d like to keep a close eye on both of you for the next few heats, but I’m very glad that things have worked out so well.”

“So are we,” Alan said. “And thank you, Doctor, for taking a chance on putting us together.”

“As a doctor, I know it’s just a coincidence, but… well, after knowing Will for years, the results of your physical seemed a bit like fate,” Dr. Genner admitted. “Since I _am_ a doctor, let’s get this exam finished just to be sure it all worked out as well as it seems like it did.”

For once, Will stripped down for his post-heat exam without anything like reluctance. Everything was going to be fine. 

Better than fine, if Alan’s quiet smile was anything to go by.

~End~


End file.
